Tuesday, August 17, 2010


Life Letter #11
"A deceased person you wish you could talk to"

To My Favorite Grandpa -

It has been almost 7 years since you passed away, but I still remember that day. I remember the way you looked so shrunken from the cancer and yellow from your liver failing while you laid in the bed I saw you reading and sleeping in since I can remember. I remember everyone was whispering and holding each other close. I remember walking into your room and telling you goodbye one last time. I remember the awful rattling sound as you took your last breath. I was 13 years old and I had never seen a dead body before, and I remember that I couldn't stay in the house after you had passed.

You were the rough Grandpa that spoiled me because I was the only girl. You had three sons who had only boys. I don't think you really knew what to do with me, but I know that you loved me. I wish you could have seen me grow up, watched me become the woman I am today. I wish we had had more time.

I wish you could have been there on my wedding day. It would've been so wonderful to see you sitting with Nana as Daddy walked me down the aisle and gave me away. Ethan is a Marine, like you. I hope that makes you happy. He's a good man, like you too. I hope that makes you smile. I can't wait to have at least 42 happy years of marriage, like you and Nana did.

I have a little boy now, Grandpa. He is the most wonderful gift God has ever given me. He is smart and funny. He likes to laugh and tell ridiculous jokes that only he understands. He is very outgoing like I was when I was little. He looks just like his Daddy, but his reactions towards things remind me of myself.

The three of us went to visit your grave when we were in Sabinal before Ethan deployed last year. I knelt down and touch your headstone and I let the tears come. I saw Aiden walking around the plot with Ethan following him around while I had a moment to myself and my memories, and all I could think about was that I hope you were watching us. I hope you can see how well I've done for myself. I hope you can see how much I've grown and changed. I hope you're so proud of me.

I love you so much.

Until we meet in heaven,

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