Okay so screw finishing writing that post about suicide and depression! I was all for it last night while I was crying and rehashing it all. I had every intention of sharing about literally the worst and lowest time in my life. I have made three attempts at writing that post, but I physically cannot put my thoughts and feelings into coherent words. It's like my mind just goes blank and my fingers forget how to fly over the keys like I am complimented on all the time. {I'm a very fast typer which is funny since I totally said screw the required keyboarding class in middle school.}All I can do is write up until a certain point and then I lose it. I just stare at the screen and will myself to finish, but I can't.
So I'm just not going to push it right now. I won't go into details. I had a brush with domestic violence, my husband had an affair, and if it weren't for the little boy snoring quietly in the next room I would not be here today. Aiden is literally the only reason I am sitting here today breathing, typing, and quietly singing along to Hit The Road Jack by the late and great Ray Charles.
I'm sorry for starting something I couldn't finish. I hate doing that, but at this time it's just not happening for me. Sometimes the mind just blocks out things that you can't handle at the moment, and I believe that is what's happening to me. I am depressed {and pretty good at hiding it} and I think that I am saving myself from a deeper darker depression.
Instead I have decided to switch from such a sad topic to something very easy for me to write about. Me. I've seen this on a few people's blogs and I decided to jump on the bandwagon. I love filling out surveys and questionnaires so it'll be something pretty easy for me.
A. Age: I am 21 years young, although there are some days when I fell about 30.
B. Bed size: A ghetto queen. When we lived in North Carolina we had an extra queen mattress that was Jennifer's bed. We had also acquired a futon right before we moved, so when we got to our new house there wasn't enough room in the house to fit the mattress somewhere and the futon so my husband convinced me to put both mattresses on our bed. So we have a box spring and two queen mattresses on top of the other. He told me when we climbed into bed the first time it reminded him of The Princess and the Pea.
C. Chore you dislike: Dishes. Oh my gosh I cannot stand doing the dishes. I do them because I can't really make Ethan do them for the rest of our lives...well I could but that's just mean. I don't like the idea of scraping old food and it's even worse when they have to be soaked. It grosses me out. That's why when Ethan is deployed I use very minimum dishes and I put them in the dishwasher right away...something we can never seem to do when he is home.
D. Dogs: We don't have one now, but I have decided that when we get to our next duty station we are getting a puppy. I have had one my entire life and if Ethan and I hadn't gotten separated and had that whole drama back in late 08/early 09 we would still have my beautiful chocolate lab. Aiden begs and cries for a dog every single time he gets to pet one, so he's gonna get one. If that means I have to wait until deployment then do be it. Sneaky? Yes. Do I care? No not really.
E. Essential start to your day: Lately it has been an allergy pill. My body and Florida haven't learned to play nice just yet.
F. Favorite color: I really really like black and pink paired together as one color, but not separately. It's like my signature with all my closest friends. And I also really like royal blue. It looks really pretty against my super pale skin.
H. Height: I am 5'2 and I have learned to deal with it. I have to ask for help to get pots down from our kitchen and we've had to invest in a large step ladder for those times when Ethan isn't around to help me reach for things.
J. Job title: I am a stay at home mama and a Lead Consultant for Scentsy. I love working for Scentsy because I don't have to give up staying at home with the Monster, and they have really awesomely addicting things.
K. Kids: I have one little man at the moment, Aiden aka Monster. He is a handful, and a bossy little one, but I wouldn't expect anything less seeing how Ethan and I were as kids. We're talking about trying for a mini monster as early as this summer, but we'll see.
L. Live: I live in Niceville, Florida and I absolutely love it. We've been here for about 3 weeks and I'm already asking Ethan to come back as an instructor after he finishes school. It is so beautiful.
M. Mom's name: Tamara but everyone calls her Tami.
N. Nicknames: Well it all depends on who you talk to. Ethan's nickname for me is Babydoll. My nephew and maybe eventually my niece calls me Lala. My grandma called me Sugar Booger until I asked her to stop calling me that in public when I was like 14. My Mama has given me many nicknames over the years but the one she has stuck to all these years is Flat Head. Yeah awesome right? She got it from The Land Before Time when I was really little. "You've got a nice flat head, Flat Head."
O. Overnight hospital stays: I've only had two overnight stays so far. Obviously when I had Aiden back in 2008 and then once again when I had my breast reduction in 2010. I have to say that having to stay overnight for Aiden was much more fun than the yucky awesomeness of having draining tubes and all that coming out of my boobies.
P. Pet Peeves: I have a bunch but the ones that come to my mind first would be when drawers and cabinets are left open. There's just something about it that I can't stand and I will go throughout the house and close everything at least once a day. Also I can't stand it when the trash is taken out of the garbage can and whoever takes it out {*cough*my husband*cough*} doesn't replace the bag. Ugh it just irks me and he does it on purpose.
Q. Quote from a movie: "Better a silly girl with a flower, than a silly boy with a horse and a stick." My husband called me a silly girl last night as he was going to sleep and I replied to him with that quote. He gave me a puzzled look, which I am used to. I tend to be a confusing silly girl and I quote movies randomly a lot.
S. Siblings: I have one younger brother named Bryan. We hated each other when we were kids, but now we're cool. Apparently we don't look anything alike really, but I think I look a lot like him. And then I have 12 brothers and sisters in-law. Gary and Hannah, Amy and Nick, Ruthie and Daniel, Levi and Sara, Isaac, Faith, Caleb, and Seth. Family reunions are going to be crazy in the next few years.
T. Time you wake up: Whenever Aiden makes it impossible for me to sleep any longer.
U. Underwear: Oh man I am a panty junkie. Seriously I have an addiction. I can't pass by the panty aisle without getting at least one pair. I have boy shorts, briefs, thongs, g-strings of all colors. Lacy, see-through, cotton...I have it all. Ethan has learned to just not go past there at all costs. I scared him one time when I told him that my goal was to be able to fill an entire load of laundry with just my underwear.
V. Vegetables you don't like: I may be a vegetarian, but I can't eat raw tomatoes or onions. If they're cooked I can handle them, but the flavor of them raw makes me gag. I don't really like green beans either but I have learned to tolerate them because Ethan loves them. Oh the things we do for love.
W. What makes you run late: I truly believe it is in my genetics. My entire family runs late. Seriously. We even went as far as putting the time on our wedding invitations 30 minutes earlier than what when we told the officiant so that my family would all be there on time. Sad? Perhaps, but I have learned to deal. I have learned to manage my time wisely since I moved out of my mom's house and now if I'm not on time then I'm never more than 5 minutes late, which I can {and do} blame on Aiden.
X. X-rays you've had: I haven't had a x-ray before so far. Hopefully I'll never have to.
Y. Yummy food you make: I make really really yummy enchiladas. I'm a pizza queen. I make really good bierocks, cinnamon rolls, and cookies.
Z. Zoo animal favorites: I love black panthers and tigers. I also like elephants and I even got to ride on one at the circus when Aiden was a baby.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Monday, April 11, 2011
Reflections Of A Different Sort {Pt. 1 Long}
It's 11:09 at night. I've had a very busy weekend and Monday due to a bunch of different things all rolled into one. I sit down at the computer to read a few blogs from my Dashboard and the first thing I see is this post by Semper Gumby...the Return of Sunshine. I had no idea what she was talking about at first so I followed the link she posted, A Final Goodbye and I started reading. Then I started crying.
I don't know Jessica personally, but when you are shown tiny slivers of a person's life you feel that you know a part of them, even if it's just the part they want to be shown. I read people's blogs and I feel connected in a way that is really hard to explain, especially to people who don't blog. My husband does look at me strangely sometimes when I say "Oh yeah one of my friends...well a girl that I read her blog said...blah blah blah"
Suicide is a very touchy subject for me. I have seriously tried to commit suicide when I was younger, and the thought of killing myself still has found me even after becoming a wife and mother. Sometimes I just want the easy way out. Sometimes I would love not to feel anything anymore. Sometimes I would love to just float from the pain of this world to the bliss of heaven.
I am blogging about this because if there is someone out there reading this blog and feeling the same connectedness that I feel towards you when I read your blog, and you are depressed or thinking of suicide please know that you are not alone. I've been there as have many others I think.
I have never blogged about this before because it is very very personal stuff that hurts to rehash at times. I'm sure by the time I'm done writing I will have tears streaming down my cheeks and my neck. Either way I feel like this is the time to really show off a few of my demons if it means I could help someone else with theirs.
********
I was a pretty wild child in my early teen years. My mom is blind and I took advantage of that and the fact that she owned a restaurant and was gone all the time. I'm not sure if she saw the signs and chose not to see them because I was her baby girl, or if I was just really good at hiding my thoughts and feelings. Either way when I was 12 years old I was "dating" older guys. I mean really older. One of my boyfriends was 21. He thought I was 16, but still. Twenty one years old. That is a 9 year difference. That is child abuse. I look back on it now and I am so lucky that nothing happened. I was so stupid!
Anyways during the summer before I started 8th grade I met a guy online. Honestly it's been so long that I can't remember if we met through a mutual friend or if we met in a chat room. He was 3 years older than me and was going to the high school that my cousin went to and that I would eventually go to. We'll call him Ryan. Ryan and I talked on the phone all the time and we became pretty close. We went to the mall together once or twice and just had a normal "dating" relationship that you have in those awkward years before you really understand what dating really is.
Things were great for the first month or so before he started getting very...different. Small things I would do or say would make him mad. Eventually he wanted to have sex which I turned down. Obviously I was too young and I wasn't ready. He started running me down, telling me that I was worthless and that I couldn't get anyone better than him and blah blah blah. All of it was nonsense but when you have abuse issues to begin with and then you listen to horrible things over and over again you start to believe them eventually. I don't remember the exact date anymore {something about getting older and mommy brain has kicked my butt} but one night while my mom was at work and my brother was with his friends....I just decided to give up. I didn't want to live with myself and the things that Ryan had told me that I now believed. I wrote a crappy suicide letter and I used a kitchen butcher knife to cut my wrist. I didn't cut very deep because I had no idea what I was doing, but I realized something as I laid the blade against my other wrist. I didn't want to die, I just didn't know what else to do.
Oh my gosh I broke down and cried and cried and cried. What had I been thinking? How could I let some boy bring me down to such a level to where I couldn't even stand the thought of living one more day. How did I turn from such a happy (although slightly slutty) young lady to this sad, depressed, quiet girl that I had become?
And the sad thing is that this happens all the time! When I was in 8th grade (like 7 months after I cut my wrist) one of my classmates, Stephanie, killed herself. A little over a year later my mom's friend's daughter swallowed a whole big bottle of Advil. Even worse is that she regretted it, but told someone too late and she was gone.
During my high school years I became a cutter. I didn't cut all the time, but when things got bad at home or at school I cut myself. Sometimes I would use a knife, sometimes I would scratch myself over and over again with a paper clip until I made myself bleed. It was a horrible way to release some of the pain I felt inside. It was like I had to physically feel the pain that I couldn't express.
Ethan is what saved me during those days. He would see me with a jacket on during the summer or sometimes I wouldn't even bother to hide the marks on my wrists, and he would get so upset. He'd beg me not to hurt myself, to just call him whenever I felt like doing it just so that he could distract me and make me smile again. He was my guardian angel.
******
I have to stop myself here because I am trying to put my other ordeal into words and instead I'm just sitting in the living room crying my eyes out at 12:17 in the morning. Ethan has school in the morning and Aiden will be waking up early since he went to bed early. Plus I have a date with fellow blogger Jennifer at The Adventures of Team Roberts. She's going to show me around the new base and all that good stuff so I'm pretty excited. {And I just accidentally deleted over half of the part 2 post I couldn't write because of the tears when I copied that link....awesome.} Yeap it's definitely time for bed!
Goodnight everyone and please keep Jessica and anyone else you know of that is coping with depression in your prayers.
I don't know Jessica personally, but when you are shown tiny slivers of a person's life you feel that you know a part of them, even if it's just the part they want to be shown. I read people's blogs and I feel connected in a way that is really hard to explain, especially to people who don't blog. My husband does look at me strangely sometimes when I say "Oh yeah one of my friends...well a girl that I read her blog said...blah blah blah"
Suicide is a very touchy subject for me. I have seriously tried to commit suicide when I was younger, and the thought of killing myself still has found me even after becoming a wife and mother. Sometimes I just want the easy way out. Sometimes I would love not to feel anything anymore. Sometimes I would love to just float from the pain of this world to the bliss of heaven.
I am blogging about this because if there is someone out there reading this blog and feeling the same connectedness that I feel towards you when I read your blog, and you are depressed or thinking of suicide please know that you are not alone. I've been there as have many others I think.
I have never blogged about this before because it is very very personal stuff that hurts to rehash at times. I'm sure by the time I'm done writing I will have tears streaming down my cheeks and my neck. Either way I feel like this is the time to really show off a few of my demons if it means I could help someone else with theirs.
********
I was a pretty wild child in my early teen years. My mom is blind and I took advantage of that and the fact that she owned a restaurant and was gone all the time. I'm not sure if she saw the signs and chose not to see them because I was her baby girl, or if I was just really good at hiding my thoughts and feelings. Either way when I was 12 years old I was "dating" older guys. I mean really older. One of my boyfriends was 21. He thought I was 16, but still. Twenty one years old. That is a 9 year difference. That is child abuse. I look back on it now and I am so lucky that nothing happened. I was so stupid!
Anyways during the summer before I started 8th grade I met a guy online. Honestly it's been so long that I can't remember if we met through a mutual friend or if we met in a chat room. He was 3 years older than me and was going to the high school that my cousin went to and that I would eventually go to. We'll call him Ryan. Ryan and I talked on the phone all the time and we became pretty close. We went to the mall together once or twice and just had a normal "dating" relationship that you have in those awkward years before you really understand what dating really is.
Things were great for the first month or so before he started getting very...different. Small things I would do or say would make him mad. Eventually he wanted to have sex which I turned down. Obviously I was too young and I wasn't ready. He started running me down, telling me that I was worthless and that I couldn't get anyone better than him and blah blah blah. All of it was nonsense but when you have abuse issues to begin with and then you listen to horrible things over and over again you start to believe them eventually. I don't remember the exact date anymore {something about getting older and mommy brain has kicked my butt} but one night while my mom was at work and my brother was with his friends....I just decided to give up. I didn't want to live with myself and the things that Ryan had told me that I now believed. I wrote a crappy suicide letter and I used a kitchen butcher knife to cut my wrist. I didn't cut very deep because I had no idea what I was doing, but I realized something as I laid the blade against my other wrist. I didn't want to die, I just didn't know what else to do.
Oh my gosh I broke down and cried and cried and cried. What had I been thinking? How could I let some boy bring me down to such a level to where I couldn't even stand the thought of living one more day. How did I turn from such a happy (although slightly slutty) young lady to this sad, depressed, quiet girl that I had become?
And the sad thing is that this happens all the time! When I was in 8th grade (like 7 months after I cut my wrist) one of my classmates, Stephanie, killed herself. A little over a year later my mom's friend's daughter swallowed a whole big bottle of Advil. Even worse is that she regretted it, but told someone too late and she was gone.
During my high school years I became a cutter. I didn't cut all the time, but when things got bad at home or at school I cut myself. Sometimes I would use a knife, sometimes I would scratch myself over and over again with a paper clip until I made myself bleed. It was a horrible way to release some of the pain I felt inside. It was like I had to physically feel the pain that I couldn't express.
Ethan is what saved me during those days. He would see me with a jacket on during the summer or sometimes I wouldn't even bother to hide the marks on my wrists, and he would get so upset. He'd beg me not to hurt myself, to just call him whenever I felt like doing it just so that he could distract me and make me smile again. He was my guardian angel.
******
I have to stop myself here because I am trying to put my other ordeal into words and instead I'm just sitting in the living room crying my eyes out at 12:17 in the morning. Ethan has school in the morning and Aiden will be waking up early since he went to bed early. Plus I have a date with fellow blogger Jennifer at The Adventures of Team Roberts. She's going to show me around the new base and all that good stuff so I'm pretty excited. {And I just accidentally deleted over half of the part 2 post I couldn't write because of the tears when I copied that link....awesome.} Yeap it's definitely time for bed!
Goodnight everyone and please keep Jessica and anyone else you know of that is coping with depression in your prayers.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Iterrupting My Normal Blogging For A Quick Word...
As I have blogged before, I am a Lead Consultant for Scentsy. April has a few really great things going on with Scentsy so I just thought I would share a few things real quick. Easter is coming up so I have decided to do a promotion for one of my favorite Scentsy products, the Scentsy Buddy. From now until April 16th, all Scentsy Buddies are 15% off when you order through me. The Buddies make a great Easter basket gift for a special little one in your family. Kid tested, nose approved!
Scentsy Buddies are soft, adorable, cuddly stuffed animals that have a zippered pocket in the back that holds an awesome smelling, non-toxic Scentsy Scent Pak. You just put the Pak in the back, zip it up, and the Buddy spreads the aroma through out the room your child is in.
There are 6 different animals to choose from, a frog, a lion, a monkey, an elephant, a lamb, and a pig. Aiden really loves Roarbert The Lion, while I'm not-so secretly asking for Ollie The Elephant. The Scent Paks come in 30 great fragrances so there is a little something for everyone.
This is a special offer that you can't find through my website so if you're interested in this offer shoot me an e-mail and we can get in touch.
Also, April is Autism Awareness Month. Every 6 months Scentsy has a special warmer made for a charitable cause. For this year's Spring/Summer catalog we are featuring Piece By Piece. 100% of the net proceeds go to the Autism Speaks organization. It is a really beautiful warmer for a really awesome cause. I personally have this one and I absolutely love it.
And last, but not least...Every month we have a warmer and scent of the month. For April that would be Baby's Breath which to me is really light, airy and springy. The scent of the month, Flutter, smells really really good. I ordered a bar for my house. "Delicate orange blossoms and whipped almond cream float above a bed of bright lemon verbena."
Feel free to check out my website https://leshrader.scentsy.us/ and also if you have a Facebook you can add my Scentsy FB as well Lauren LovintheWickless Shrader. Hope to hear from you!
There are 6 different animals to choose from, a frog, a lion, a monkey, an elephant, a lamb, and a pig. Aiden really loves Roarbert The Lion, while I'm not-so secretly asking for Ollie The Elephant. The Scent Paks come in 30 great fragrances so there is a little something for everyone.
This is a special offer that you can't find through my website so if you're interested in this offer shoot me an e-mail and we can get in touch.
Also, April is Autism Awareness Month. Every 6 months Scentsy has a special warmer made for a charitable cause. For this year's Spring/Summer catalog we are featuring Piece By Piece. 100% of the net proceeds go to the Autism Speaks organization. It is a really beautiful warmer for a really awesome cause. I personally have this one and I absolutely love it.
And last, but not least...Every month we have a warmer and scent of the month. For April that would be Baby's Breath which to me is really light, airy and springy. The scent of the month, Flutter, smells really really good. I ordered a bar for my house. "Delicate orange blossoms and whipped almond cream float above a bed of bright lemon verbena."
Monday, April 4, 2011
Stylish Blogger Award
I got this award a few days ago but wasn't really in the mood to blog about it so I just wanted to say thank you to Megan!
Here are the rules:
1. Thank and link back to the person that has given you this award.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Award 10-15 blogs you feel deserve the award.
4. Contact these bloggers and let them know about the award.
So again thank you Megan. This is something nice to write after my depression post. See? I'm working on myself already :-)
So these 7 things about me....
Here are the rules:
1. Thank and link back to the person that has given you this award.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Award 10-15 blogs you feel deserve the award.
4. Contact these bloggers and let them know about the award.
So again thank you Megan. This is something nice to write after my depression post. See? I'm working on myself already :-)
So these 7 things about me....
- I love making up vegetarian recipes...even when they don't turn out so good.
- I want to be pregnant again.
- I love driving with the windows rolled down and the music turned up.
- I am addicted to sweets.
- Instead of deleting pictures off of memory cards, I just buy new ones. I have like 6 or 7 full memory cards saved in my dresser.
- I am a huge Disney fanatic. I still have almost all of the classics on VHS.
- I love getting mail. I mean I don't really care about bills, but I love getting letters and postcards from family.
- Emily @ Writings Of An Air Force Wife
- Amy @ ...And The Adventure Continues
- Elizabeth @ The Young Retiree
- Nicole @ Flip Flops And Combat Boots
- Taryn @ Maine-ly Taryn
- Poekitten @ Many Waters
- Kaylee @ Moore Than A Mrs.
- Kara @ SAHM And Marine Wife
- Samantha @ She's Not Broken, She's Just A Baby
- Jennifer @ The Adventures Of Team Roberts
- Kara @ The Ramblings Of A Marine Wife
- Beckie @ Turn For The Nurse
- Lydia @ withlovelydia
My Dark Passenger
Okay so maybe I've been watching Dexter too much with that title, but oh well.
I, from time to time, struggle with depression. I have ever since I was 9 and my parents moved me halfway across the country and took me away from everything I had ever known because of a divorce and my Daddy turning out to be gay. I have learned to deal with it on my own, but there are some times when I just feel so lost.
I feel like I am hiding inside myself, protecting myself from something. I'm in this depression funk right now and it really sucks. I'm not really sure what triggered it, but it is kicking my butt. I feel myself closing down, and I can't afford for that to happen.
To add to that, our house has decided to just stop working for some reason. The air conditioner broke early last week. We've had 4 different companies come to house to give an estimate, but none of them have actually fixed the damn thing. Lucky for us that it hasn't gotten very hot and humid here yet so having just ceiling fans and open windows has kept us cool for the most part. Someone is supposed to be calling me today with a time when they'll be here, but we'll see how that works.
The refrigerator had a meltdown on Thursday and flooded our kitchen which caused water damage to the floor. To stop the fridge from flooding we had to move it out into the middle of the kitchen to shut off the water. Because we did that, the cheap laminate flooring in the kitchen ripped where the fridge moved across the floor.
The fridge was fixed on Friday, but something was wrong Saturday morning because the refrigerator was actually hot. All of our food that we had just bought Friday after getting a brand "new" fridge was spoilt. Someone came out to look at the floor, but they haven't figured out when they're going to actually do it.
It's just been very stressful the past week which just makes my depression worse. Ethan and I had a long talk this weekend where I let it all out. I literally just cried for almost an hour. I don't know what happened with those tears, but ever since then I haven't felt as bad. I mean yes the sadness is still there, but it's much more manageable than it was last week. I'm hoping this is an omen for good times coming our way. I feel like I need a break from life. Maybe just a nice weekend on the beach with nothing but music and a good book would work for me.
I'm trying to work on my insides so that my outsides can show something other than sadness. I need to smile more. I need to sing like I used to. I need to work out and eat right. I truly believe that happy girls are pretty girls so this girl needs to get happy!
I, from time to time, struggle with depression. I have ever since I was 9 and my parents moved me halfway across the country and took me away from everything I had ever known because of a divorce and my Daddy turning out to be gay. I have learned to deal with it on my own, but there are some times when I just feel so lost.
I feel like I am hiding inside myself, protecting myself from something. I'm in this depression funk right now and it really sucks. I'm not really sure what triggered it, but it is kicking my butt. I feel myself closing down, and I can't afford for that to happen.
To add to that, our house has decided to just stop working for some reason. The air conditioner broke early last week. We've had 4 different companies come to house to give an estimate, but none of them have actually fixed the damn thing. Lucky for us that it hasn't gotten very hot and humid here yet so having just ceiling fans and open windows has kept us cool for the most part. Someone is supposed to be calling me today with a time when they'll be here, but we'll see how that works.
The refrigerator had a meltdown on Thursday and flooded our kitchen which caused water damage to the floor. To stop the fridge from flooding we had to move it out into the middle of the kitchen to shut off the water. Because we did that, the cheap laminate flooring in the kitchen ripped where the fridge moved across the floor.
The fridge was fixed on Friday, but something was wrong Saturday morning because the refrigerator was actually hot. All of our food that we had just bought Friday after getting a brand "new" fridge was spoilt. Someone came out to look at the floor, but they haven't figured out when they're going to actually do it.
It's just been very stressful the past week which just makes my depression worse. Ethan and I had a long talk this weekend where I let it all out. I literally just cried for almost an hour. I don't know what happened with those tears, but ever since then I haven't felt as bad. I mean yes the sadness is still there, but it's much more manageable than it was last week. I'm hoping this is an omen for good times coming our way. I feel like I need a break from life. Maybe just a nice weekend on the beach with nothing but music and a good book would work for me.
I'm trying to work on my insides so that my outsides can show something other than sadness. I need to smile more. I need to sing like I used to. I need to work out and eat right. I truly believe that happy girls are pretty girls so this girl needs to get happy!
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Settling In A Little At A Time
Hi there!
As you can tell I am finally back in the blogging world. We have the internet turned on in our house so I can get back to letting out my insanity in a productive way.
These past few weeks have been a whirlwind of excitment and drama. The rollercoaster hasn't stopped yet, but we are done with the crazy corkscrew loops {I hope} and we can just chill with a fast paced straight away for a bit.
Okay let me just say that it doesn't matter if you are doing the moving yourself or if someone else does it for you....it's all stressful. I have so many things I could say about this experience, but I'm going to try to keep this post upbeat. It's my first one in a while and I don't want to scare you off too quickly.
I could tell you how somehow a 12 hour drive from North Carolina to Florida turned into a 15 hour affair. How we got in at 4 am and Monster decided that was his time to wake up for the day and try to escape from the hotel room more than once...but that is too awful to relive.
I could tell you how insane we were to think that we could drive 15 hours, sign our lease and move in to our house, get things at least halfway unpacked, and then drive another 13 1/2 hours from Florida to Texas...but that's not pleasant.
I could tell you about how none of my family can get along so we had to drive all over to make sure everyone got to see us...but I won't rehash that crap.
I could tell you how we got stranded in Gulfport, MS with a bad car battery and we had to stay the night with two ansty toddlers who just wanted to go see Aiden's new house...but that's for another day when I have more time.
What I will say is that I have had an adventure I won't soon forget. Aiden is now a three year old ferocious boy. He had a really awesome Dinosaur Train birthday party with family and friends to celebrate. We got to see some old friends that I am so glad I could reconnect with. Ethan's family is so supportive of my new business and even hosted a Scentsy party for me while we were home. I got to eat some delicious Mexican food (my fave) and see some pretty great movies.
What I will say is that unpacking seems so counter productive while you are doing it. Boxes are everywhere and there isn't a place for everything yet which drives me crazy, but it is getting better.
I will also say that moving is expensive! I mean holy stinking cow. This is mine and Ethan's first move where our parents didn't like completely help us out and make sure we had EVERYTHING we would need for a new house and more.We spent over $400 at Walmart yesterday getting food and other necessities. WHAT?! I almost had a heart attack at the register after I let out a gasp and a few choice words. The worst part? We still need more crap!
What I will say is that I absolutely love our house. It is so much cuter in person than even in pictures. It is closer than we thought to the EOD school...I mean Ethan can ride his bike if he chooses it's that close. The neighborhood is nice and quiet. We even had a neighbor come over with a plate of brownies for us!
Oh and what I will definitely say is that Atlantic Beach, NC has NOTHING on Destin, Florida. Oh. My. GOD! It is sooo beautiful. The sand is like walking on a perfect blend of sugar, salt, and powdered sugar. It is white and soft and it makes your feet feel awesome. The water is green and blue and turquoise. When you walk into the ocean there is no gritty feeling that you get with corse sand. It flows against your skin and wraps your body with it's silkiness. I have truly found love at first sight. I am going to be a beach bunny this year.
**Also be on the look out for a Scentsy giveaway coming up! Don't know what Scentsy is? Check out my website to get addicted like me :-) **
As you can tell I am finally back in the blogging world. We have the internet turned on in our house so I can get back to letting out my insanity in a productive way.
These past few weeks have been a whirlwind of excitment and drama. The rollercoaster hasn't stopped yet, but we are done with the crazy corkscrew loops {I hope} and we can just chill with a fast paced straight away for a bit.
Okay let me just say that it doesn't matter if you are doing the moving yourself or if someone else does it for you....it's all stressful. I have so many things I could say about this experience, but I'm going to try to keep this post upbeat. It's my first one in a while and I don't want to scare you off too quickly.
I could tell you how somehow a 12 hour drive from North Carolina to Florida turned into a 15 hour affair. How we got in at 4 am and Monster decided that was his time to wake up for the day and try to escape from the hotel room more than once...but that is too awful to relive.
I could tell you how insane we were to think that we could drive 15 hours, sign our lease and move in to our house, get things at least halfway unpacked, and then drive another 13 1/2 hours from Florida to Texas...but that's not pleasant.
I could tell you about how none of my family can get along so we had to drive all over to make sure everyone got to see us...but I won't rehash that crap.
I could tell you how we got stranded in Gulfport, MS with a bad car battery and we had to stay the night with two ansty toddlers who just wanted to go see Aiden's new house...but that's for another day when I have more time.
What I will say is that I have had an adventure I won't soon forget. Aiden is now a three year old ferocious boy. He had a really awesome Dinosaur Train birthday party with family and friends to celebrate. We got to see some old friends that I am so glad I could reconnect with. Ethan's family is so supportive of my new business and even hosted a Scentsy party for me while we were home. I got to eat some delicious Mexican food (my fave) and see some pretty great movies.
What I will say is that unpacking seems so counter productive while you are doing it. Boxes are everywhere and there isn't a place for everything yet which drives me crazy, but it is getting better.
I will also say that moving is expensive! I mean holy stinking cow. This is mine and Ethan's first move where our parents didn't like completely help us out and make sure we had EVERYTHING we would need for a new house and more.We spent over $400 at Walmart yesterday getting food and other necessities. WHAT?! I almost had a heart attack at the register after I let out a gasp and a few choice words. The worst part? We still need more crap!
What I will say is that I absolutely love our house. It is so much cuter in person than even in pictures. It is closer than we thought to the EOD school...I mean Ethan can ride his bike if he chooses it's that close. The neighborhood is nice and quiet. We even had a neighbor come over with a plate of brownies for us!
Oh and what I will definitely say is that Atlantic Beach, NC has NOTHING on Destin, Florida. Oh. My. GOD! It is sooo beautiful. The sand is like walking on a perfect blend of sugar, salt, and powdered sugar. It is white and soft and it makes your feet feel awesome. The water is green and blue and turquoise. When you walk into the ocean there is no gritty feeling that you get with corse sand. It flows against your skin and wraps your body with it's silkiness. I have truly found love at first sight. I am going to be a beach bunny this year.
**Also be on the look out for a Scentsy giveaway coming up! Don't know what Scentsy is? Check out my website to get addicted like me :-) **
Friday, March 11, 2011
Things have been hectic since we've been back home. I haven't had as much time to myself as I thought I would. Hopefully this weekend I can find more time to write because I need and escape, and that is what this blog is for me.
I just wanted to take a minute to say I hope all my blog friends that I read in Japan and Hawaii are staying safe during these disasters and that I am praying for everyone being effected.
I just wanted to take a minute to say I hope all my blog friends that I read in Japan and Hawaii are staying safe during these disasters and that I am praying for everyone being effected.
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