Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Getting Back On My Grind

I have been steadily working out and losing weight since I decided I needed to change back in February. I couldn't look at myself in the mirror anymore. I hated for Ethan to see me without clothes on. I didn't even want to go out in public because I felt ashamed of myself.

I woke up one morning and decided I wasn't going to feel that way anymore. I have an awesome group of friends {ADW whaaaaaaat!} that are so supportive and have taught me so much about myself and how to get healthy. It's not a diet, it's a lifestyle change. And sometimes it is really hard.

With this whole miscarriage thing I have completely lost all motivation. I went from eating healthy and working out every day (before the pregnancy where I literally puked after 12 minutes on the elliptical) to eating. And worse than just eating, I depression ate.

This last week I literally ate pizza for lunch and dinner for four days, and I went through two packages of Oreos. And then of course I gained 3 pounds. In a week!! Of course I have no one to blame but myself. I take full responsibility for my actions, as gross as they are.

So today marks the restart of my getting healthy. I am counting calories, paying attention to what I eat, and am keeping a food diary. As soon as I'm cleared for working out you best believe I'll be working my way up to 45-60 minutes on the elliptical and Zumba. I'll start back on my strength training as well.

I will not let this miscarriage completely erase everything that I have worked so hard for. Depression will not win this round.

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