Thursday, June 7, 2012

Just Staying Focused

So to start off, I'm slowly re-doing my blog. I haven't been writing for so long that I just wanted a change. So what do you think?? My beautiful header is all thanks to my awesome cousin Bailey!!

The bleeding has finally stopped. The physical pain is gone. All of the pregnancy symptoms have left, which is a good thing, and a bad thing at the same time. Yesterday I literally cried for 4 hours, but when I was done I felt a little better. I'm really trying hard to stick to my guns about the getting healthy. I was doing really really well before this miscarriage. Now every day is a new struggle. I have to force myself to look away from the cookies and chips, and reach for a fruit or a few graham crackers. I have discovered that Nutella on Saltines is ah-mazing!

As proof of just how important the right foods are for losing weight and being healthy, I have lost 2 pounds in 3 days. Just from cutting out the crap {no more stupid Oreos or pizza or Lay's} and drinking only water. Totally great right??

Anyways, Aiden is sick today. The day I finally start feeling like a human being again, and the poor kid gets a fever. Again. Did I mention he had a fever last week during my miscarriage? I don't know if it's the back and forth of the weather here or what, but it's driving me nuts. And he is so sad that he can't go play with his friends and do fun things until the fever is gone.

So today we are having a sick/lazy/cleaning day. How do you have a lazy and cleaning day, you ask? Well that's easy. You only do laundry so that you can just sit on your butt and fold clothes. Genius right?! You get something done, but it's nothing too tedious like sweeping and mopping.

Today I am going to focus on something good, otherwise I will swallow myself up in the bad. I'm really really really missing Ethan today. With everything that's gone on I really just need to curl up on his arms and cry and nap and just be loved. He is my rock. He is my strength. He really is the true love of my life. Even when things are bad, they're always a bit better when he's with me.

So today I will focus on my never ending love for my husband, and thank God as many times as I can for bringing him into my life. He really did save me from the really tough life I was heading for. Call me crazy or a total cheeseball, but I truly 100% believe that we were made for each other. He was at my parents' wedding 5 months before I was even conceived! Of course he was a baby, but his name is in their wedding book. We were in the same church when we were babies. When my parents divorced, and we moved back to Texas, I became best friends with his sister, by chance. He even helped me with a previous boyfriend. Then we became friends, and then eventually more. Everything in my life {as far as I can see} has led me to him.

These are the moments I will focus on today, and the only reason I will be sad is that he isn't here with me today to share in this love.

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