I Need To Vent

Where has the time gone? My body is a few days behind right now I guess because I just barely looked at my phone and realized today is Wednesday. What?! It still feels like Monday.

You know how sometimes life feels like it's moving at a slower pace? Things are relaxed and for the most part everything is going good. Everyone is happy and things are falling into place. Yeah well that definitely isn't this week, not even the past few weeks. Right now everything feels like it's happening at once. I think part of the reason is because I haven't had a moment to myself in a very long time.

Ethan and I were talking about it the other night, and we haven't had the house to ourselves since May. Yes that's right, May. Ever since then we have had someone living with us the entire time. Not even a break between people. The even sadder part is that Ethan came home from Afghanistan in very late March. We have had literally 2 months and 6 days alone together since he came home. Tell me that's not insane.

I love having a lot of people around, I always have. I think part of that stems from the fact that I never had a "normal" family growing up. I like to surround myself with good friends and family. But it hit me last night that I really just want some alone time to be with my husband and our son. I want to be able to just leave whenever we want to without worrying if someone else has plans, or if we have enough seat belts to be able to fit everyone. I want to put Aiden to sleep how I want him to sleep, not how it works so that Tristan doesn't wake up. I want the clutter of suitcases and extra toys out of my living room. I want to eat at the dining room table as a family. I want to be able to go out to eat or rent a movie without worrying if we won't have enough money for food with two extra people and no extra money to help out.

Ethan's brother flew home on Saturday, which now means the couch is now a place to sit in the mornings instead of a sleeping mountain of teenager for Aiden to climb all over. We now can all leave at one time because with 4 adults and two car seats we don't all fit in our small car. The sad part is that Aiden got very attached to his uncle. He asks about him at least three times a day.

Jennifer and her son were supposed to drive home this weekend with another one of our friends in the Army. His leave got denied so now we have to get them a plane ticket home, but on top of that he is now coming for the weekend to stay with us also. It feels like we just get rid of one person to add on another. I mean it's not anyone's fault or anything, but it is frustrating.

I think I've just hit a wall. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or anything, but I do believe there are times when it is okay to just say enough is enough. I'm getting burned out in my own home, and that really isn't a good thing. Depression is starting to rear it's ugly head and I refuse to let that happen.