Life Letter #14
"Someone you've drifted away from"
You were the first person I made friends with when I moved to Texas back in 1999. I was the new girl with the country Tennessee accent who was shy and very lonely, and you made sure I felt welcome. It was friendship at first hello.
We really got close in middle school. We had the same classes and we rode the same bus for a while.We used to split our lunches to save money for the mall on the weekend. We spent the weekends with each other all the time. Our 8th grade year was definitely my favorite time for us. We were both so innocent and happy. It was our last good year before things started changing.
In high school we were still close, but I had a boyfriend who was homeschooled, which took up my time when we weren't in school, and you started getting into drugs. We still spent all of our time together at school. you loved Bowie, and you couldn't understand why I hated it there. I started skipping school to be with Ethan, and you started skipping to get high.
I think the real turning point in our friendship was in 10th grade when you got sent to ALC for smoking weed on campus. I still remember that day. You got mad at me because I wouldn't come with you. I occasionally smoked with you, but I wasn't stupid enough to do it at school, or even come to school high. When you left Bowie I didn't care about school anymore. I hated a lot of stuff about that place, and honestly you were the only person keeping me there. When you were gone I begged my mom to pull me out of school. Once she saw how depressed I was she decided to homeschool me.
After ALC your mom moved out to the boonies and we never really saw each other, but we still stayed in touch. We went to Texas A&M with your sister over Halloween back in '05 and that is probably one of my favorite memories. We had sooo much fun and that is when I fell in love with the school.
Everything changed when I got married. I should've realized things had changed when you chose to go off and get drunk and high the night before the wedding, instead of helping me get the last minute things ready for the wedding. We saw each other a few times before I moved out to NC, but after that we hardly spoke. And it wasn't for lack of trying.
It was when Ethan and I had our separation and I really needed my best friend to talk to, that I realized you just weren't that person anymore. I remember calling you and leaving a message about what was going on. Four months later you called me back and wanted to know all of the details, only Ethan and I were working things out by then. I think that was the last time we talked to each other.
You've had a lot of hardships in your life since then. Your friend passing away in a car wreck, your fiance leaving, your mom having her problems...then I found out that your dad had passed away. I read it on your sister's Facebook and I started crying right then. Your dad had always been such a kind man, and you were a major Daddy's girl. I have tried to find you ever since then.
Your sister said that you don't have a phone anymore, or a place to live really. She said that you don't have a computer or internet...no way for me to get into contact with you from 1,400 miles away. You've gotten into much harder drugs than before, and I just hope that you aren't using them to try to block out everything else. I have told her to let you know that I am thinking of you. Even if we have drifted apart, you are still in my thoughts and I hope that one day we'll be able to catch back up. I hope it isn't too late for that. I miss my friend.